Listen to the Podcast About Honey B
Podcast Summary
In an engaging new episode of Eventful Endeavors, host Alyssa Jones caught up with Bentley Bates, the face behind Honey B. Bates shared her distinctive perspective on trends and wedding planning, promising listeners an insight-filled treat from her abundance of wisdom.
Bates shared her excitement for the podcast discussion, eyeing it as an opportunity to share more on the event planning work Honey B is known for. Her enthusiasm was not veiled; she was equally thrilled about extending her charming wisdom to a broader audience, promising her listeners that they’re in for a delightful journey of industry insights.
In addition to her work at Honey B, Bates also co-hosts a podcast, Wine Knot. Alongside her ‘frienders’ (friends and vendors), Bentley indulges in breezy chats about the intricate wedding planning process, even weighing in on certain trends they find appealing, and those they could do without. Wine Knot is available on Spotify and Apple, serving buyers with a fun approach towards the serious business of wedding planning.
During the interview, Bates shared her current favorite wedding trend, one she believes to be making a phenomenal comeback: bows. This trend is making a return in various forms, from dresses to veils, and her personal favorite, candles with ribbons. She appreciates the timeless and classic appeal of bows, and is eager to see them have a significant presence in upcoming weddings.
The conversation with Bentley Bates from Honey B offers a unique blend of insights and perspective on trends in the event planning industry. Thoroughly engaging and insightful, this episode is an invaluable resource for those curious about the latest trends in wedding planning.
Learn more about Honey B
This interview was provided by Felix and Fingers Dueling Pianos
Podcast Transcript
Alyssa (00:24)
Hey everybody, welcome back to Eventful Endeavors. This is Alyssa from Felix and Fingers and I’m here today with Bentley from Honey B. Hey Bentley.
Bentley Bates (00:33)
How’s it going? Super excited to be here.
Alyssa (00:36)
It’s going great. I’m so glad that you’re here. Me and Bentley have been talking recently and she just really has such a good view on things. I love talking to you the other day and I was like, you have to come on the podcast and share all of your wisdom. I can’t even talk today. But…
Bentley Bates (00:56)
I love it.
Alyssa (00:58)
Just come share all of your wisdom with everybody listening because you really have so much to offer. And yeah, if you’re listening to this, you are very lucky because Bentley is amazing.
Bentley Bates (01:08)
Thanks for having me. I’m so excited after you asked. I was like, oh my gosh, yes, like this is so fun and I just love chatting with you. So I was like, okay, let’s, you know, let’s do it. So.
Alyssa (01:21)
Let’s do it. Also, Bitly has a podcast. You wanna plug your podcast before we get started?
Bentley Bates (01:25)
So my podcast is with two of my I call them frienders, which I consider friend vendors, which now you’re a friender. But our podcast is called wine. Yeah, our podcast is called Wine Knot so wine as in like, you know, you’re drinking wine and then not K.N.O.T. So we talked about a bunch of like wedding planning process. And then we also have some fun, you know, fun stuff in there like
trends we love, trends we don’t love, and stuff like that. So yeah, go listen. It’s on Spotify or Apple. Yeah, it’s more fun, you know, just letting, it started as like to let people know like how to plan. And then we’re like, just, you know, as we go through, it’s like, this is just so fun just to talk to people within the industry. And so yeah.
Alyssa (02:00)
Definitely go check it out, it is hilarious.
I love that. Well, I’m so glad that you’re here today. So we’re just going to jump right in and I’m going to start putting you on the hot seat and asking you other questions.
Bentley Bates (02:26)
I love it. I love it.
Alyssa (02:28)
Okay, so my first question for you, and I give this to a lot of people, but I’m always, I always love everybody has a different answer. What is your favorite trend that you’ve seen at weddings recently?
Bentley Bates (02:38)
Yeah, no, I love that question because obviously trends are trends for a reason. Like they come and go and then they come back. Currently, right now, I absolutely love bows are coming back. So whether that be with like the dresses or a cute little veil with bows on it, but right now my favorite thing ever is bows on like the candles. So a lot of times like on
the tall taper candles, they put a ribbon on it. That’s like my personal favorite right now just because they were in a, you know, I would say like 10 years ago and then they totally, you know, got forgotten about and now I just love it so much. It’s just so classic and timeless that to me, I don’t think it’s a trend, but like I’m seeing it come back now and I’m like, oh, this is gorgeous. So yeah, that’s my favorite one currently. Yeah.
Alyssa (03:33)
I love that.
Bentley Bates (03:35)
I love it too. So I definitely want to incorporate that in, you know, future weddings. And if people are into that, I just I just love texture and you know, I want I love timeless trends. You know, sometimes people do trends that they won’t love in like 10 years, but I feel like bows. They’re so classic, you know, you can’t go wrong with black and white and stuff like that. So yeah.
Alyssa (04:03)
I love that. I, 13 year old me is screaming because I had like, I had a ribbon that had all my different bows on them on my wall, like as a piece of decor as like a 13 year old. And so it’s coming back. I love it. I used to just go with ribbon around my room as a kid, just tying bows on everything. So if you need a bow tire, I’m there for you.
Bentley Bates (04:14)
Yeah.
It is too bad.
Yeah.
I love it. Oh my gosh. I also saw this one of my clients like did like big ribbon bows like down the aisle on each chair like that were in the aisle and that was so cute and they had candles and stuff so it was so romantic and it was like the most simple decor piece that you could do but it really just like elevated the space and so a lot of these trends you’re like
thinking you have to spend all this money, but I mean, you just buy ribbon, you know? So that’s why I was like, oh my gosh, this is so ingenious. So yeah, I love it.
Alyssa (05:01)
I love it. Okay, so my next question for you is What’s something that’s super unique that you’ve seen?
Bentley Bates (05:06)
Okay, so I love that. Positive and negative. I’ll go the positive route. I would say I’m gonna it’s actually more like ceremony wise, it’s not necessarily decor. But what I’ve seen now is so I have two answers. One is during the ceremony. And that’s where you know how traditionally, you have one side.
Alyssa (05:09)
It can be positive or negative.
Bentley Bates (05:36)
like one couple side, one person of the couple side and then the other family side. And a lot of times your family sits on whatever side you’re standing on. However, a unique trend right now is, and I absolutely love it, it’s where your family sits on the opposite side of where you’re standing so then they can see your face. So I thought that was so cool because we did that for my brother’s wedding.
and it was just so much more intimate and unique to also the guests because it’s like, oh my gosh, I can see him reacting to him saying his vows and all this stuff, right? And so I thought that was so cool and people are implementing it. So any of my brides, I’m like, hey, do you want to do that? If not, totally fine, but I love that so much because it just kind of incorporates the guests a little as well. And so yeah, that’s one for ceremony.
Um, another one I’ve seen.
Alyssa (06:37)
You are actually the second person who has said this on the podcast. You are, yes, you are the second person that has said how much they love that.
Bentley Bates (06:41)
Really? I’ll –
gosh that’s awesome! I’m so happy! I’m happy that other people are doing it and other people see it too because it is so much fun. Yeah it’s like for me you know I’ve also been guests at weddings and anytime I’m on the side of you know the person that I’m there essentially for or like more there for.
Alyssa (06:53)
It’s such a good thing for memory making.
Bentley Bates (07:10)
I can never see their face, you know? And I’m like, wait, I want to see like my friends reactions and all that stuff. So I love that. Going off of that though, I’ve also seen people switching like the bridesmaids are on the groom’s side or the groomsmen are on the bride’s side, like behind the bride so then they can see their friends. I don’t personally like that. You know, it’s kind of the same.
Alyssa (07:39)
Okay, you differed from my other person there. Because the other person I asked did like that. Okay, it’s a battle now.
Bentley Bates (07:42)
Yeah!
was gonna say yeah I was gonna say so going back to like you know I like the guests doing that but for pictures I’m a picture person like for just picture purposes I like when it’s like cohesive and so I want whoever’s standing behind you to be like closest to you also just knowing me personally like if if I’m thinking of like my own personal wedding if I saw my maid of honor I’d like
start laughing. Like I would, I would just like, I couldn’t, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it. And so I personally don’t like that. But I know some people are like totally okay with that. So yeah, at least I was gonna say, um, another going off of another unique idea I’ve seen, which I absolutely love. It’s a very logistical, um, trend right now. And
Alyssa (08:27)
We’re having like a whole battle here on the podcast now.
Bentley Bates (08:42)
you know, being a wedding planner, I’m all about timeline. And I love when the couple does their first dance right away into whether it’s cocktail hour or whether it’s right after like their grand entrance before dinner. And that’s just because then everyone’s eyes are on you. Everyone’s seated. They’re paying attention, you know, grandparents haven’t left yet, you know, because when we do it later, you kind of lose people.
And if that’s, if you don’t want to be the center of attention, that’s totally fine. Then let’s do it later. But a lot of times it’s nice to do it right away. You get your nerves out, like then you can just relax and eat. Cause I know a lot of people are like, just think going through dinner is like, oh my gosh, I have this dance that I have to do, or oh my gosh, I have to, you know, do all this. And then they don’t get to enjoy their food. So I always like just getting it done right away. And then that way you really just enjoy your night and it’s.
much easier for timeline purposes because then you can sneak out for photos and talk to your people and there’s just so much more time to enjoy yourself. So yeah, that’s another one that I…
Alyssa (09:50)
I love that. I haven’t heard of that recently, but that’s such a good idea, I think, because it’s so hard to even, you know, you’re paying a lot of money for really good food at your wedding normally. Like you want to be able to enjoy that. Like that’s your day. And so I think anything taking those nerves off is a huge thing. I always like, the number one thing I always tell people is like, find the little ways to decrease your stress levels so you can be present and really enjoy the day.
Bentley Bates (09:53)
Yeah.
Yeah!
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, I agree. And also just maximizing your time. Like, I always tell people the day goes so fast, the moment you get into your either suit or dress or whatever you’re wearing, the moment you get dressed for the wedding, it is like, go, go, go, the morning goes slow, and then it goes so fast. And so anytime to maximize your time with your guests, or, you know, your now spouse or, you know, also you booked a
amazing photographer, you want to maximize their service too, and you want to get golden hour photos and you know all that stuff and a lot of times you don’t want to be rushed and sometimes when you wait to do dancing like your special dances it’s just a like kind of a waiting period and then you’re you lose your guests and I always tell people like just get dancing done and then you won’t lose interest and then that way your guests can do whatever they want.
They can like go mingle while you’re doing your like other stuff too. So yeah. Yeah, I love it too.
Alyssa (11:17)
I love that. Awesome. Okay. So my next question is going to be a hard one because I know as wedding vendors, like we love every step of the process. Like I getting to be a part of people’s day is just like the coolest thing in the world to be able to do that every day. Like I get, you get to see joy all the time. Like you get to be a part of the coolest thing ever very frequently, which is awesome. But what do you think is your favorite part of your job?
Bentley Bates (11:25)
Thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, I this one. So I mean, I love every like you said, like, the whole process is amazing. But I would say my absolute favorite is actually the end of the night. And it’s because that is where I can see it on their face. Like, oh my gosh, all this planning was so worth it. I’m just so happy that
I’m with my spouse and with my family. Like my absolute favorite thing ever is when either the couple or not even the couple alone, just like family or friends come up to me and they’re like, they enjoyed their day so much and just hearing that I’m like, wow, that just makes my whole planning so worth it. Like sometimes I’m with people for years and sometimes I’m with them for only a couple months, but
you know, I’ve had couples for like three years. And so three years of planning, just to get that 30 second, oh my gosh, this was amazing, is just like, so like, there’s nothing like it. And the fact that I helped manage their day and I helped make them have that smile on their face is just like so rewarding. So I would say like, yeah, I like I get emotional. I do I.
Alyssa (13:04)
I love that. I got goosebumps when you’re saying that.
Bentley Bates (13:10)
Well, just so you know, I cried every wedding. Every single wedding I’ve been to, I cried. Whether that be the first look or certain music or whatever. It’s always happy tears for the couple. And so yeah, that moment, it’s just like, whether it’s 30 seconds or it’s from some random guests, they’re like, wow, I’ve never seen her so calm. I’m like, oh, really? Because, you know, they know them on a different level. And I’m like, oh, she’s been…
Alyssa (13:37)
Mm -hmm.
Bentley Bates (13:39)
so calm all day or the whole planning process and they’re like, really? Cause she’s so not, you know? So like, it’s kind of fun to hear just like from like their family’s perspective of like how the couple normally is and the fact that I helped make them at ease and everything is just, yeah, it’s amazing. So yeah.
Alyssa (13:59)
that. It’s so cool to see planners like you, like how much, you know, as musicians we don’t always, you know, we get to talk with our clients for a little bit out of time but we’re not, you know, in there planning everything like a wedding planner is. So it’s so awesome to hear just how close you get with, you know, that you’re crying happy tears for everyone. Like it’s so awesome show and it really shows I think just how much I’m stumbling over my words. Oh my gosh.
Bentley Bates (14:26)
Yeah.
Alyssa (14:26)
But no, it really shows how much you care. And I think that’s such an important thing.
Bentley Bates (14:29)
Yeah.
Yeah, I definitely, you know, with that being said of like, like, when they like roll off into the sunset, right? Everything’s all said and done. Like, that’s my ultimate goal is to like, get them married, right? That’s the goal of a wedding. And I feel like a lot of people forget. And I know we mentioned, I mentioned this to you, like earlier when we were talking on the phone about how a lot of people lose sight of that and like,
when people come up to me and they’re like, this is amazing. It’s just kind of solidifying like, wow, we’re here for a reason. And like, I love to remind people like it’s about you guys and your love no matter what. And then my favorite part is after the wedding is when I get like updates on their life. You know, when they’re like, hey, we got that house that we wanted or like, we got into medical school or hey, we’re starting a family like getting all those updates. I’m like, oh my gosh, I was a part of it like.
for the first day technically, you know, of their married life. And so just hearing all like where they are now, some of my very first clients I’m seeing are posting stuff that we talked about years ago and just to see them grow as a couple. I’m like, I had a part of that kind of, you know, so yeah, yeah.
Alyssa (15:47)
I love that. I love that. Okay, so my next question for you is, What is something that people sometimes misunderstand about wedding planners?
Bentley Bates (15:55)
Yeah, that’s a really great question. I get a lot of times people say, Oh my gosh, you’re a wedding planner. That must be so fun. You get a party all the time. And to me, I’m like, I don’t get me wrong. I absolutely it is so fun. It is definitely my passion. I would never like I’m not never going back to any other job ever. But
when people assume that we’re just there to party, I’m like, you have no idea what we’re doing. You know, we are literally, there’s heavy lifting and you know, we’re running the day, we’re on the front lines. If anything goes wrong, we’re the person to fix it or be blamed, even if it’s not our issue kind of thing. But because we’re the person to figure it out and we will figure it out, a lot of people, you know, don’t expect.
you know, when they hear wedding planner, they think wedding planner, like the JLo movie, oh my gosh, you know, and this and that, which don’t get me wrong, it is like that, but it’s, you know, it’s a lot of work and I don’t, oh, thank you. No, so, you know what I mean? Like, it’s just, it’s, people think I, oh, that must be so fun to party all the time. I’m like, I am, no, I’m on my feet for like 14 hours a day.
Alyssa (17:03)
You pretty much are JLo.
Bentley Bates (17:21)
Sometimes 18 hours I’m on my feet and so it’s a lot of work and people just kind of assume that it’s just this party atmosphere all the time.
Alyssa (17:33)
You’re like, I’m here so you can party.
Bentley Bates (17:35)
Yeah, exactly. Or a lot of people are like, Oh, can you like, like, Oh, can you grab a drink during it? I’m like, No, like, I’m no, I’m work. This is my job. I’m working and I making sure you can grab a drink, you know what I mean? So it’s just making sure that they know that I’m here so they can party not myself. And not only couples, couples understand that, but it’s more, you know, out, out.
outlying factors like in the world. Like when people hear I’m a wedding planner, then they’re like, oh, that’s, that’s amazing. And you just get to go to dance all the time and you get to do this. And I’m like, no, I’m actually like setting up arches and it can be kind of messy sometimes.
Alyssa (18:22)
You’re like, I have an outfit that I wear when I’m setting everything up and then an outfit that I wear whenever I have to actually see the people.
Bentley Bates (18:29)
amount of outfit changes that I think I go through. Like I, it looks like I live in my car because I have so many different pairs of shoes just in case, you know, or in case, in case, you know, frosting gets all over me, which more than often does or candles spill on me. So yeah, I’m like, it’s not like I’m partying.
Alyssa (18:38)
Oh my gosh. Oh yeah.
Definitely. So along those lines, What’s something that you think that you’ve learned since being a wedding planner that you maybe didn’t expect?
Bentley Bates (18:58)
Yeah, no. So going off of the previous question as well as this one, I did not expect to get to know my clients as well as I have. A lot of times, I like I didn’t know that people would come to me with like personal stuff. So I didn’t know that I would be
kind of playing therapist a little bit, a lot of times. And so that also goes into…
Alyssa (19:32)
I’m sure when you’re trying to get people’s families sitting together, it’s like one big.
Bentley Bates (19:37)
Yeah, and don’t I like I’m here. I’m here to kind of morph into whatever you need me to and that should be what a planner does. But yeah, I I’m fine with doing it. It’s just I did not understand. Oh my gosh. Okay, I have to deal with different family dynamics and I have to learn to be kind of understanding on
Alyssa (19:39)
You
Bentley Bates (20:06)
differences and you know stuff like that and some people I definitely have a face that says like tell me everything. So you know some people are like all I need to know all I need to know is like hey this person can’t sit next to this person that’s all I need to know right. But a lot of times they tell me the reason why and I’m like oh no don’t need to know that don’t need to know that. I’m like don’t you know the backstory um but yeah that that has been a learning curve for sure because I’ve
I’ve definitely learned to be more respectful and understanding of certain dynamics and also just like their mental health and like what they’re going through. Like some people are just easier to be stressed out and some people are so chill and so like just understanding where they’re coming from and why and how that there are sometimes outlying factors that have nothing to do with the wedding that just kind of show up.
during the wedding kind of thing. And so just understanding that I did not know I had to do that. And then I was like, oh my gosh, okay. So yeah, that’s definitely a learning curve was being able to like listen more and understand that, okay, people don’t only need someone to show up, they need someone to listen. So yeah.
Alyssa (21:26)
That’s great advice not just for weddings, but for life. We didn’t know we were going to get deep today.
Bentley Bates (21:32)
I get, yeah, I think every wedding there is always, like I said, I cry at every wedding. Like there’s always like a moment where I just like, we, yeah, we always, I always connect with like the client or a guest on some deep level. I’m like, oh, I love what I do. And then I just, I was just like, oh my gosh, this is now past the wedding. Like, so I love it.
Alyssa (21:55)
I love that. Okay, so I’m gonna ask you my very last question and this is something I ask everybody. So if we have a couple who is just at the beginning of their wedding planning journey, what is the biggest advice that you would give them?
Bentley Bates (22:08)
Don’t freak out. I would say a lot of people, so let me answer it first like this. A lot of people, when they get engaged, they’re so excited. And then they go through like, I mean, probably like two weeks to a month, like just on a high. They’re like, oh my gosh, I got the ring. Like, I’m so excited. Get to marry my best friend. And then they freak out. Cause then they hit the low and everyone is asking them questions like,
When do you want it? You know, now family dynamics are coming in and opinions are coming in. And so they’re like, oh my gosh, I don’t know where to start. And that can be overwhelming. So my biggest piece of advice is one, just take a breath. And two, it’s about you and your fiance. It’s honestly, some people might have given you a really in depth answer to that question, but I’m very simple. And sometimes,
People just need to bring it back to a simple life. Just take a breath and just remember that it’s really just about you guys. And no matter what, you should just do stuff that you want in your wedding and that you’ll look back and be like, wow, this was so fun. Because it can be stressful, but it shouldn’t have to be. And just understanding, like, okay.
I want to showcase my authentic selves or our authentic selves as a couple. How do we do that? So if you just really focus on that, it’ll be so easy. You don’t need all this. You don’t need something that everyone else has if it’s not authentic to you guys. Just because you look at Pinterest, don’t get me wrong, I love Pinterest. But if you look at Pinterest and you’re like…
Oh, they did this, they did that, I have to do that. No, you can do whatever you want just as long as it matters to you. So, yeah.
Alyssa (24:08)
I absolutely love the authenticity. I think I always tell people like that’s my number one thing when it comes to your wedding day. Like it is about you. It is about what do you want? That’s why I love doing like all requests, dueling piano shows is because we want to hear what we want to play what you want to hear. We want it to be your day and about you. And I think that’s just so important that, you know, it doesn’t, we talk about trends all the time on here. We talk about everything we see, but at the end of the day, it should be.
Bentley Bates (24:14)
Yeah. Yes.
Yes.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Alyssa (24:38)
what is gonna make your day memorable and your day feel like it’s your own.
Bentley Bates (24:42)
Yeah, exactly. And you know, that’s my, you know, that’s my answer to that question. But if someone is looking for like, okay, what’s the first step? That first step is venue. So just figure out like what venue fits your vibe. So I would say, you know, the simple answer is just like, really think of what is you guys and then what do you do after that? Just pick a venue. Once you have a location, everything will fall into place. Um,
And yeah, I just, I’m the type of planner that a lot of planners are either like logistical or creative. So you have someone who’s like, yes, I’m really good at timelines. I’m going to get everything done for you. They’re not necessarily the creative side. And then you get planners who are very much like, they’re going to give you an amazing mood board and their style. And so their portfolio is a little better. Um,
But I think I’m like somewhere in the middle where, yes, I love that and I love being good at timelines, but no matter what, like our motto here at Honey B is, I want you guys to be your authentic selves and we’re gonna combine our expertise with compassion for understanding you guys. And I think I’m just a very personable person and I want to get to know you. And so if I can understand where you’re coming from and your vision, like I’m gonna do whatever you want.
essentially us to do. So yeah.
Alyssa (26:13)
that. That’s amazing. Thank you so much for coming on here today, Bentley. Like I said, everybody, Bentley gives the best advice. I feel like I see how you can play therapist to your clients because you really, you know, your advice is so great. And I know we talked so much just about authenticity for people’s weddings. And I think you just have so much to offer. So definitely listen to all of our episodes, but also go listen to Bentley’s podcast because…
Bentley Bates (26:22)
Oh, great.
Yeah.
Alyssa (26:43)
especially if you want a little, if you can’t tell from this, she’s very funny, so.
Bentley Bates (26:47)
Little spice, yeah, just a little bit. It’s funny because I, it’s, it’s fun to, you know, showcase different sides of, you know, who you are and by, by also helping people. Like, I think that’s really fun to, yeah, just to kind of give you guys trends and also have fun doing it. Like, sometimes it doesn’t have to be this, you know, crazy serious thing. So.
Alyssa (26:50)
Hahaha!
Definitely awesome. Well, thank you so much and thank you everybody for listening. Again, this was Alyssa from Felix and Fingers and Bentley from Honey B and we hope you all have a great rest of your day. Bye.
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